The Airing of Grievances (Happy belated Festivus!)

As a full-bust blogger, I’ve tried my very best to cheer on new brands that offer D+ styles. I’ve tried to write about new companies so people will hear about them, to offer advice, and to support them when I do have the funds to buy a full-priced bra. But when “fresh, innovative!” new companies are popping up left and right offering the same 28-40 D-G/GG range in bras that are poorly scaled and “bust-friendly” clothing companies are making clothing that just looks… large all over, I get tired of it.

We have enough brands that offer terribly scaled 28-40 D-G/GG bras. And to be frank, D-G/GG cups barely even scrape the lower end of the actual “full-bust” range. If you’re going to do 28-40 D-G/GG, do it well. Don’t just make the same crappy bras that every other brand offers.

One major thing we do need is H+ cups and sub-28 bands. Just fyi, when the few small-band H+ cup bras that are available all have wires that wrap around our backs, it barely even counts. Oh, and if you’re going to make H+ cup bras, maybe consider actually making a few longlines, which give SO. MUCH. MORE. SUPPORT. than standard bands… which is what we need. Why the hell are there no H+ cup longlines?

And clothing… oh god, clothing. (See Bras I Hate and Love’s post on this issue.) Do you know how many places I can go and find a cowl-neck shirt or sweater? Or how plentiful cheap stretchy spandex/jersey dresses and tops are? And if I wanted to wear a top/dress that I have to wear with a belt to get any waist-definition, I’d just get it at Marshall’s or TJMaxx. I’m so sick of seeing made-for-the-busty clothing companies build their collections on cop-outs. You know what we need more of? Well-tailored button-downs, non-stretch dresses with actual waists, winter coats that button…

I’m just so frustrated. I’m sick of cheering on every new and misguided company that tosses around the terms “full-bust” and “bust-friendly”. I want to see a brand actually listen to what we need and want. I’m not naming names, I’m not keeping a public shit-list… but I’m not going to cheerlead companies that aren’t clearly listening to the needs and wants of their target audience.

Valentine’s Day Wishlist

I finally found a place to live. Things are still stressful, but I’m excited to be blogging again.

I don’t usually do wishlists like this, but seeing all of my fellow-bloggers’ wishlists inspired me to jump on the bandwagon and share some of the pieces (not just bras!) that I have been lusting after!

What Katie Did Storm corset ($350)storm

I’ve been wanting a corset for ages, and the Storm corset from What Katie Did seems like a solid choice- it’s beautiful, well-made, and relatively simple. I’d love an embroidered or lace-covered corset, too… but if I’m going to have just one, it’d be this one.

Rosamosario Mezza Luna lace-appliquéd silk-chiffon robe ($875, sold out)

mezza luna

It’s sold out… and I’d never be able to afford it, anyway, but wow this is one of the most gorgeous pieces I’ve ever seen! Teal and gold happen to be one of my favourite colour combinations, and this robe does a spectacular job of combining rich colors and fabrics without looking tacky.

Angela Friedman Clair de Lune robe ($295 for ivory$265 for black)

clair ivoryclair black

Yet another robe(s) I’ve fallen in love with! Less outrageously expensive than the last, but still way out of my budget. The black, sadly, doesn’t come with lace on the sleeves, but I suppose that accounts for the price difference. The ivory one would look stunning with an ivory corset and stockings. And I think I already own enough black lingerie to pair with the black robe…

Gossard Opulence set ($130.20)

opulenceThe bra stops at an E cup, which makes me really, really sad… but I could always get the thong and suspenders, right? Or maybe I could get a 38E and try to take in the band? (Or really replace the band entirely, which would be a crazy project.) Really, though, this is a beautiful set! If you’re lucky enough to fit into their size range, I envy you!

Fauve Lucia set ($200)fauve-lucia-chocolateAlso not available in my size (currently around a 30HH), but the 32G or maybe even a 34G would be worth a shot. I’ve never really thought about brown lingerie as being sexy, since it’s always fallen under the category of “skin tone neutrals”… but, damn, this is lovely! This set would be gorgeous and subtle on dark skin and rather stark on pale skin like mine. 

Fauve Bronte set (~$225)bronte silver

Same brand, same sizing situation… except that  longline bands run tighter, which means that a 34G might actually fit me! The pale blue/silver and creme is a surprisingly beautiful colour combination (and, oddly, doesn’t look too “bridal” to me), and the laces and embroidery are beautifully crafted! Figleaves doesn’t have any 34s left, though, and there don’t seem to be too many other stores that stock this that will ship to the US.

Are you wondering where the Ewa Michalak and Comexim bras are on my list? I just placed orders with both of them, and, since it’s a wish-list, I didn’t want to put ones I’ve already bought right at the top… but I couldn’t exactly leave these off, as they are perfect for a Valentine’s Day list:

Ewa Michalak HM Burek (photo shows SM style)

HM Burek

So gorgeous! It doesn’t scream “Valentine’s Day!”, but it’s a delicate and beautiful lace, which wins it a spot on this list. I actually got this in a 65H SM  from someone via a Bratabase swap, but it cut into my tissue pretty badly, so I’m trying a 65H HM. Fingers crossed!

Ewa Michalak SM Malinka

SM MALINKAIs this too cliche? I don’t usually go for red/pink (this is supposedly a reddish pink color), but the lace was so gorgeous that I couldn’t help but try it! I wanted to order this in the HM style, but they ran out of fabric and could not do the custom order. I got the SM (in a 70HH, the closest size available), just in case it does work on me… 

Comexim Iris

Iris

Another lovely lace! Juliette (aka the most beautiful bra ever) was sold out before I managed to place an order, but I didn’t lose Iris! About a year ago, I  bought a used 60L Giselle to gauge my size in this brand and found it snug in the band and too high in the cups (but almost too small). So I  decided to get a 65K with lowered cups and gore… this bra is super pretty, and I really hope my crazy-custom ordering will work out here!

And since this is a wishlist, I should mention that anyone is welcome to help me buy items from this list! On my “about” page, I’ve added a section explaining how to tip/donate, if you’re so inclined. 

Why I’ve been gone

Hi all,

I don’t usually like talking about my non-boob-related life on the blog, because I feel like it would be boring or irrelevant or whiney, but since it’s kept me away from blogging for a while, I feel like I should at least let y’all know what’s up.

Since graduation, I haven’t had the best luck finding jobs (it’s apparently really hard to get a job waiting tables if you have a degree… apparently, they are afraid that I’ll leave for something better) and, consequentially, have also not been able to find housing. Sleeping on floors and couches since May means that:

1) I have no privacy

2) I am stressed beyond belief

3) 900% of my mental energy is focused on trying to find somewhere to live

So it’s not that I’ve disappeared or that I suddenly have nothing to say about bras, bodies, and other such things… I’ve just had no energy to write and no privacy to take photos for the blog. I’d love more than anything to be writing again and hope that I’ll be able to soon!

Fingers crossed, I’ll solve my housing problem soon and will be back in full-force! (But seriously, send good vibes my way! I’ve been searching for housing since April, damnit!)

Tutti Rouge Betty Review!

Disclaimer: Tutti Rouge provided the items for this review. 

When I heard about Tutti Rouge a few months ago, I was extremely excited to see cute and youthful styles available in a much needed size range (28-38 DD-HH (sometimes J)). I was obviously ecstatic when they offered to send me the Betty bra and panties to review. I had originally asked for a 28HH, but I’d been more of a 30GG lately, so I changed it to a 30GG.

The package arrived beautifully wrapped. The lingerie inside was even more lovely!

TRBetty

My photos didn’t manage to capture the wonderful amount of effort put into the detail and construction of the bra. The bra feel really well-made and the cute heart-shaped adjusters made me giggle. I had been skeptical of all things pink, but the pink bow works pretty well with the creme-coloured satin. And the fabric is amazingly soft!

Trying it on, though, was a mess. My ribcage is currently 29 inches, so a 30 should fit easily… and I should be able to at least fasten a 28. Not so with this bra. I could barely get the 30 to fasten… and then it felt like it was suffocating me. (It was okay with an extender, though.) Unstretched, the band measured 22 inches. Fully stretched, it only made it to 28 inches, which makes it a tight 28 or a loose 26 band… not a 30 band.

bettyband bettybandextender

The cups were also way too small, but that may be partially due to the cups becoming part of the band (as well as my needing a larger cup in general). Given this, it’s hard for me to estimate how the cups fit. I think a 32GG or 32H would fit me, though.

bettyside2  bettycup

bettyoverflow

The shape of the bra also isn’t quite right for me: the cups are shallow and wide (like most UK brands)… but a looser band would definitely alleviate some of the flattening!

bettyfront

(FYI: The panties run a bit large. I normally wear a medium, but I really should have asked for a small! They are lovely and comfy, though! There is an adorable keyhole with a bow in the back… )

But since the band ran so small, I wondered if perhaps Tutti Rouge might be a good solution for my friend who needs a 24/26 band. I had her try on my 30GG and the band fit pretty well on the tightest hooks. The cups were a bit big on her, but I’d guess that the Betty would fit her in a 28GG. For the record, she really loves the bra!

bettyaband2 bettyaband

bettyaside

bettyacup bettyafront

I’m really hoping that, instead of simply making their bands bigger, Tutti Rouge simply relabels them. The size range could be 24-34 (maybe 26-36)… and, with the styles that Tutti Rouge offers, would be a perfect fit for that demographic. (See that pun there?)

Anyway, the bra is exceptionally well made and really, really lovely. My fingers are crossed that the sizing issues are sorted out soon, because I’m really excited to see more of what Tutti Rouge has to offer!

Great news: Parfait is expanding their size range!

Remember how I fell in love with Parfait? And how I’ve been hoping that they’d expand their size range? Well, the other day, I got an email from RichPR (the PR company that Parfait works through) announcing the size expansion for their A/W 2013 collection! They’ve added GG-K cups and are testing the new sizes in 3 styles: Charlotte Padded Bra (28 band available), Alexis Babydoll, and Sophia Wire Bra. The new sizes will be available starting in August!

I’ve contacted Parfait a few times about expanding their size range… and I know I’m not the only one. It looks like Parfait has heard out pleas! While I would have loved the expansion to start with adding a few more cups sizes in the Deco-rivaling-Casey bra, D-K is quite an impressive jump from D-G and the options sound great. I don’t know if the new Charlotte bras will continue to run extremely tight in the band, but even a slightly tight Parfait 28 would be good news for the 26-band-needing crowd! (I’ll be sure to update on band tightness one I try one.) And a babydoll in a K cup? Awesome. And they are planning to expand the size ranges of other styles in coming seasons!

Charlotte Padded Bra: 28-40 D-K (Peach/Black, Red/Black, Dusty Rose, and Wild Pink (new colourway))

Charlotte Padded Bra & Bikini in Wild Pink_Parfait

Alexis Babydoll: 30-40 D-K (Ivory, Black)

Alexis Babydoll in Black_Parfait

Sophia Wire Bra: 30-40 D-K (Black, Pearl White, European Nude)Sophia Wire Bra & High Waist Brief in European Nude_Parfait

“We have heard and listened to the growing feedback from our dedicated fanbase for expanding sizing, and are so pleased to be able to meet their wishes after extensive research, development and fit testing. As a brand committed to providing full bust women worldwide the best in quality, fit and style, we couldn’t be happier to announce that expanded cup sizes are here!” –Keng Zhang, President, Parfait by Affinitas

Since I’ve been lusting after the Charlotte Padded Bra for ages, but was very sized out, as the old model ran very small in band and cups, I’ll be trying the Charlotte Padded Bra in a 30H (I’m usually a 28HH or 30GG) and my fingers are crossed that it works out. I’ll be sure to update once I’ve tried it! (And my fingers are still crossed that they come out with larger cup sizes in the Casey soon!)

MILF?

True & Co., you’ve done it! You’re inspired another ranty post from me! I’m not an angry person, so this is truly impressive!

What did you do? You decided that it would be HILARIOUS to have the phrase for your Mother’s Day fitting campaign be “MILF” – “Mom I’d Love to Fit”. That’s hilarious, right? Get it? MILF? Like “mother I’d like to fuck”?

milf1

Yeah, hilarious. And I’ll start by reading it the way you want me to, as “mother I’d like to fit”. What I’m getting from this is that mothers should be fitted for bras because you want to fit them. Not because they deserve well-fitting bras (which they certainly won’t get via True & Co., as the size range is terribly limited and the algorithm tries to fit you in the size range even if it’s 6 cup sizes too small), but because you want to fit them.

Wait, that’s not what you meant? Oh. So then why did you even use the term “MILF”? It isn’t funny and it doesn’t make sense.

Female bodied persons are socialized to believe that their bodies are public property. Why base an advertising campaign on a phrase that perpetuates this?

I was going to try to ignore this ad campaign, but there have been a few responses basically saying that being told that someone would fuck you is a compliment and that those who are offended by this campaign are all misogynists for denying women their own sexuality. Really? Because I’d like to point a few things out:

  • “You look nice” is a compliment.
  • “I’d like to fuck you” is a statement of fact, not a compliment. (And is sometimes very threatening.)
  • “You are a MILF” is objectifying and denies agency.

Since “MILF” is about wanting to fuck someone, I’ll deal with the last two. First, “I’d like to fuck you” is not a compliment. It’s a statement of fact. If you tell someone that, meaning it as a compliment, what you are saying is that their value is (at least partially) based on whether or not you (or anyone) would want to fuck them. It isn’t a compliment. But, while there are many situations in which it comes across as a threat, it also isn’t necessarily offensive. At it’s best, it’s a statement of fact.

But anyway, here is a huge difference between saying that you’d like to fuck someone and calling someone a MILF. I don’t (usually) feel objectified when someone tells me that they’d like to fuck me… but if someone ever called me a “MILF”, I’d feel really violated, since it’s a goddamn noun and I am being told that I am an object defined entirely by their desire to fuck me. Even though, grammatically speaking, “you” is the object in “I’d like to fuck you” and the subject in “you’re a MILF”, there is a difference between saying that you’d like to do something with someone and telling them that they are something. “She is a MILF” is a statement of equivalence. “You are a MILF” makes “you” equivalent to a “mother I’d like to fuck.” It defines the subject in terms of how they are useful to the speaker. The phrase smacks of objectification and (no surprise here) non-consent. If all you want to say is that you’d like to fuck someone, then leave it at that. Don’t make statements about who they are.

You can’t “reclaim” a phrase when objectification lies inherently in its structure.

Is there anything wrong with mothers enjoying sex and being sexual? Nope! But calling someone a “MILF” isn’t giving them license to be sexual… it’s making them into an object for your pleasure.

So, True & Co and “defenders”, here are a few helpful things to remember:

  • Being a woman doesn’t mean that you aren’t a misogynist.
  • Female bodied persons and their bodies are not public property.
  • You can’t be sex-positive and consent-negative- that’s called being rape-positive.
  • If a joke isn’t all that funny, barely makes sense, and is potentially very offensive… don’t use it.

A fitted slip: my first major sewing project

I don’t like following patterns.

I’m a bit proud of my spatial reasoning skills and, anyway, there’s no way I’d be able to make a conventional pattern work for my boobs. Also, I wanted to make a 1930s-ish gown/slip-thing out of a stretch satin fabric… to fit over a(n admittedly too-small) 30G Parfait Jeanie bra. So, yeah, there was no way in hell that a pattern was going to work anyway.

But rather than looking at similar patterns and then drafting my own, I kind of just decided to wing it. I drew a quick sketch of my planned dress and then started sewing. My though process was thus: “Okay, so I need to sew a tube (ribcage-floor) and then take it in at the waist, sew cups and attach them, sew straps and attach them, and then add godets to the skirt. Simple.”

It didn’t end up being so simple. The godets were a pain in the arse and the cups… well, I ended up just cutting random shapes that somehow made a 3-part seamed cup (I had some luck). But I got through it!

Looking at it now, I wish the seams were neater, I wish I’d put the cups in straighter, I wish I’d made the cups a bit more covering, etc. But I’ve worn it… multiple times. I’ve received a lot of compliments on it, too!

I was too caught up in the “joys” of sewing to take progress pics…  and I don’t have any good full-length shots that really show the skirt, but here are a few pictures of the finished product:

slip full 1 slip side 3

slip front 1

slip side 2slip side 1